Boundaries by Anna Hedley

Author:Anna Hedley
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: gay romance
ISBN: 9781627980418
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2015-10-30T04:00:00+00:00

THEY WENT down to the kitchen. Jacob gave Ben a mug of tea and set the teapot and a little jug of milk down in front of him so he could fill it at his leisure. Jacob cooked a stir-fry that smelled spicy and delicious. They’d eaten before the sex, but Ben was hungry again. He glanced at Jacob. He seemed to be enjoying himself, adding ingredients to the wok with a flourish. Ben studied his face. Did the good mood mean Ben would get to stay? Had he done well enough despite that moment of hesitation?

Jacob handed him a bowl of stir-fry that tasted as delicious as it smelled. They ate for a little while, until Jacob cleared his throat.

“Is there anything I need to know, Ben?” Jacob said.

Ben raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Did someone…?” Jacob was being so careful. Ben could almost see him lining up the words, examining them for any unwanted inferences. “Did someone hurt you? You don’t have to tell me exactly what happened, but I’d like to make sure that I don’t upset you again.”

Oh God. Ben could see how he’d gotten that impression, the way he’d frozen and the big deal he’d made about the word “force.” “No. No. No one’s ever—hurt me like that.”

Jacob’s whole body relaxed. “Then what’s going on, Ben?”

Ben had to tell him. He’d try his best to dominate Jacob the way he liked. He wouldn’t get in his own way again. But if he hesitated, Jacob needed to know that there was a reason other than Ben’s own incompetence for that.

Everything tried to spill out at once, but it piled up, creating a dam. A lump in his throat that he couldn’t speak around. Hot, humiliating tears sprang into his eyes.

“Toby,” he managed to choke out. He looked down at the table, fighting a flood of tears he didn’t even know he’d been holding back. He speared a fried green bean on the end of his fork, hoping if he concentrated on that hard enough the tears would go back where they’d came from.

Jacob, however, couldn’t be so easily ignored.

“What about Toby?” he asked. His voice was gentle. Not demanding. Not curious.

Ben struggled for the right words, then for any words at all. Jacob did need to know if it was going to keep intruding on their sex life, but the knot of emotions Ben had stuffed back inside when Toby had left still didn’t want to be untangled. Jacob didn’t push, didn’t ask anything more, when Ben peeked at him, his face betrayed nothing but mild concern.

“He was ill,” Ben managed. Even that squirmed out and made him need to cry afresh. He blinked back tears. He didn’t want to cry. He hadn’t been the one that was ill. “He had panic attacks and….” Ben took a deep, shuddering breath. “Triggers.” Ben had found out the term from Google, which was as close to a doctor or a therapist as they’d ever got. “Most sexual stuff.

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